I want to talk about the whole thing of people dying and their loved ones being upset. It’s actually quite understandable that we get sad when our friends die. I heard someone say that we are as many people as we have friends. We are someone different to everyone we know. And none of us are exactly who our friends think we are. I’m not sure if the person we are in our friends eyes, also lives only behind those eyes, in their thoughts. Maybe the more we get to know our friends and the closer we become, the more their version of us becomes like the actual us or maybe we become more like their version of us. So if someone dies, everyone mourning, is mourning a different person, their version of the person, their person. And we all get sad. And mad.
When our loved one dies, some of us become angry with the deceased, some of us become angry with ourselves, some of us become angry at others and some of us become angry at God. And maybe we even do the whole circle. When we read that Jesus wept over Lazarus, His friend that had passed away, we are confused. On the one hand, He could have let him not die if He really wanted to, on the other hand, He knew He was going to bring him back to life. Soo… Why so sad?
Why would Jesus cry if He is the one in charge? Isn’t He the one that decided the life would end? And if not decided, He allowed it to happen. I want to suggest that the whole people-dying-cycle got started when we first sinned. And that is something to be sad about. The continual consequence of sin entering our lives, with death as result is not something to ignore, treat lightly or smile-away-spiritually. It hurts. I believe that when Jesus was confronted with yet another consequence of sin, He did what He always does in that situation. He mourned. I think it’s the first time I start to understand this a little bit, and if I’m honest, I was reading the latest by Adrian Plass while this dawned on me. Adrian, if you should ever read this, I hope you don’t see this as a copy paste version of your thoughts. I hope I can see it as inspiration.
I don’t think I was angry when my father died. I was numbed for sure. The weeks, months, days, hours in the hospital had made it confusing to know what to think. I prayed for healing and for peace. But when he finally went, I had not many feelings left. At the funeral I was gloomy, but strong for mum I think. I greeted some friends and sadly smiled back at them. When I turned around again and saw dad’s picture next to the wooden box, it became real. I didn’t visit his grave, not even at the funeral. Dad was gone.
Sometimes he is back for a minute and reminds me of a silly joke, or gives me some advice in a tough moment. I had dreams about him not having really died and him being surprised that I hadn’t heard about it yet. Only to wake up to life without him.
The consequences of the bad, sad and mad are felt daily. As long as we live on this earth, death will keep happening, tears will keep coming, and we will keep never fully understanding it all. Why would Jesus cry if He is the one in charge? If He knows, that in the end all will be well for those that trust in Him?
Why?
Because He knows our pain.
Photo by Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz @ pexels
Recipes of Hope 
Haven’t thought about this before. I like the suggestion of death being sad because it’s linked with sin which is worth mourning over. Makes me think of Romans 6:23 – death is wages for sin. Makes a lot of sense why God would mourn over it. Crazy as well that Jesu really does feel our pain. To the point where He even experienced it Himself.
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